Tag Archives: Cancer

Cancer and Chemo

Posted on by

5

As I sit here ready to update this long abandoned blog I am 3 days away from my first chemo treatment. I never imagined I would ever be one who ever needed chemo but here I am. I have had quite the battle in the last 5 weeks. It’s not the battle I thought I would have. It’s not the summer I imagined it would be. But it is the one that I have been dealt and the one that lies before me.

On April 8th I went to my primary doctor for a long overdue check up. I decided in March that I wanted a particular medicine for some fungus that I had on my toes but my doctor’s office said I would have to come in for a check up to have the blood work done because it had been 3 years since my last check up. I know it was overdue and I knew that I needed to go in but I just didn’t. So I set the appointment for April 8. While my doctor was pokin’ and proddin’ she made a gasp when she pressed on my stomach. She said my uterus felt the size of a five month pregnant uterus. I assured her quite emphatically that I was NOT pregnant. So she sent me for an ultrasound. That was a Monday. That afternoon I was called to go back Wednesday morning for CT Scan with contrast (they wanted it on Tuesday but my insurance wanted to cause problems – you know how that is). That evening Ron and I were on our way out to dinner with our best friends because the day happened to be my birthday when my phone rang. I answered it. It was my doctor who told me I had a tumor on my ovary. She was sending me to a Gynecological Oncologist. My appointment with him was 7:30 the next morning. Oh and Happy Birthday. The next morning I saw Dr. Wheelock where he told me that I have Ovarian Cancer. He assured me that on Monday morning we were gonna get it out and get it GONE!

The word “cancer” scared me. How did cancer get inside of me? What was I supposed to do with that? I’ve been battling cancer with my dad for 3 1/2 years. I didn’t know how to fight it from this side of the battle. I think I went into a shut down mode for a long time. People said they were praying for me. I was mostly numb. People took my numbness as a positive attitude. As I look back on those first couple of weeks I think I was honestly just floating outside of myself watching it all. The final word has come in that it is cancer and that I will be having chemo. I have settled into myself. I have felt the fear settle in. I am afraid. I cling to the Lord who promises never to leave me or forsake me. He has a plan. I don’t know what it is. I don’t have a clue. I cling to Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you future and a hope.” Beth Moore says it best and is my motto in this cancer battle along with that verse. She says “As we seek to know God’s will and go where He sends, he doesn’t just wait for us at our next stop. He travels every mile right beside us.” So wherever I go and whatever path I take God and I will be walking hand in hand.

Cancer Strikes Again

Posted on by

8

I have been very quiet lately for a number of reasons. If you follow me on FB or on Twitter you probably have figure out the biggest change in our lives right now. It has nothing to do with either one of the children at college. It has nothing to do with Bible Study. It has nothing to do with either one of the kids cars. It has nothing to do with my fibromyalgia. It has nothing to do with my headaches. While all of those things are playing a BIG role in my life none of them come anywhere close to what is happening in my childhood home in New Carlisle Ohio right now.

My dad’s laryngeal cancer has returned for the third time. Thankfully it seems that the doctors always seem to catch the cancer early enough to be able to stay on top of it. For that I am grateful. He had a PET scan last week. Chemo will begin tomorrow. At this point things appear to be preceding like the last round – chemo once a week.

He has had a considerable amount of swelling in his throat for a number of weeks. He has also had some growths pop up around the area of his stoma (the location of his trach). I’m actually looking forward to the time when they chemo shrinks that area so that he will be able to eat normally again. He’s been having to eat via a feeding tube he had put in at the end of his last round of chemo before. We are all looking forward to that.

I’m not sure how he does this over and over again. I would be beyond depressed. And I can see the disappointment on him. But he understands that this is just something that has to be done and he goes and does them. So much has been taken from him. But somehow he keeps going.

I will be spending a lot of time up there over the months ahead. I’m not sure what that means at this point. In 2010 we had a very rocky year. I pray every day we don’t repeat that year. That year brought too many close calls. I hope to keep close by so I can help mom and help keep an eye on dad at the same time. We don’t want anymore emergency room visits or hospital stays. We want this to go smoothly. It may be the third cancer run but we want it to be smooth and successful. We got this, Daddy!!

Four Magic Words

Posted on by

1

No. Evidence. Of. Cancer.  Four magic words that my dad read on his PET Scan test results this past week when he met with his Oncologist. In the last four years he has had a very long battle that I have documented here on my blog in a series titled My Dad, My Hero.

My Dad, My Hero

My Dad, My Hero Part 2

My Dad, My Hero Part 3

My Dad, My Hero Part 4

My Dad, My Hero – A New Beginning Again

This past June the first four words were NOT the words he heard from his doctor. Some new spots had begun to appear around dad’s stoma. After some testing it was determined that after about a year and a half that his cancer had returned. The first time his treatment was daily radiation which was very hard on his body. However this time his treatment plan would include chemotherapy. Anytime the word cancer is used in regards to someone you love is scary enough but when you also include the word chemotherapy fear is the natural reaction. I did not like the sounds of that. I did not want to think about chemo making my daddy, my hero, so deathly ill. I was mad enough at the cancer. My emotions were raw. The thought of him having to battle being sick from something that is supposed to cure him could not compute in my brain. It just made no sense and was totally unacceptable to me.

It was decided that he would have one chemo treatment a week for as long as it took to get the job done. We all watched for the typical signs – nausea, vomiting, weight loss, fatigue, hair loss. He had a few bouts of nausea and some minor weight loss. But that is it! Whatever kind of chemo his Oncologist gave him it was good stuff because it got the job done and he hardly even knew he was on it. I went up there for about a week. One treatment I went to I noticed that he had 4 bags. Three of those bags were various anti-nausea medications and one bag was chemo drugs. His doctor took very good care of him!

Ten days ago he had a PET Scan done. I asked everyone to pray that it would be clear. We all spent the entire week praying to that end. On Wednesday of this past week Dad called me himself and said it was clear. The doctor handed him the report and told him to read number 1. It had those magic four words I started this entry with – No Evidence of Cancer. And just like that it was over.

I have no idea what the future holds but I know who holds the future! Since 2010 my dad has had cancer TWICE and has beaten it TWICE! God has healed him TWICE! God is still on the throne and is still in the healing business! He still answers prayer! And for that I am eternally grateful. Without that promise I don’t even want to think about where we would be.

Back Where He Belongs

Posted on by

3

Today is Sweet Shot Tuesday. (Head over to Darcy’s blog to share your own sweet shots and find other’s as well.) As you know if you have spent any time here at The Journey Leads Home I am snap happy with my cell phone camera. It doesn’t even have to be something that is happening right in front of me. I will take a picture of something on the computer or on the TV – doesn’t matter. So this weekend I put a DVD into the laptop. It was of my dad preaching. What’s so special about that? Well my dad has been a preacher/teacher/sing since I was very young. I really don’t remember a time that he wasn’t one. He developed a virus that attacked his vocal chords which took his voice. He would have surgery to remove the growths that would grow and then he would be fine again for a while till they would grow back obstructing his ability to talk. Last March during a surgery his doctor found a suspicious spot which turned out to be Laryngeal Cancer. It was the most traumatic experience our family had been through. The months leading up to this discovery were torturous and heart wrenching. He had surgery to remove his entire voice box and a prosthetic voice box was put in. It was a long hard battle to learn to breath and talk again. But a couple of weeks ago he preached his first sermon back in he and mom’s home church. He has to go a little slower. But his heart and mind are still full of the power of the Spirit and love of the Lord. So today’s sweet shot is a picture of him back in a pulpit where he knows God has called him to be. Who knows what else God has in store for his life. But he certainly isn’t done with him.

Back in the Pulpit to Share a Word from God

I have written a series about my dad’s struggle. It is multiple entries about the walk we all took through the scariest experience of our lives. You can search on this blog for “My Dad My Hero” to find the series. My dad also writes a column here in his own category titled A Message From My Dad. You can search this blog for “A Message From My Dad” to find all of his articles. His articles post every Sunday morning here. He writes about things that he has learned through the Word and through his experience with cancer.

My dad is truly my hero. His spirit has remained faithful and he has fought hard and he is back! Seeing him standing in that pulpit again proves it. He is such a blessing and such an example to me to not give up, not even when it’s hard and you really want to.

A Glimpse Into The Past

Posted on by

4

In trying to decide what to blog about today I started thinking through all the great blogs I have seen so far during the Ultimate Blog Party 2011. One thing that I’ve seen a lot of people do is list some of their past entries that allows their new readers to get more of a gist for who they are and what their blog is about. So I thought that is what I would do today.

My blog is fairly diverse. While I am a wife and a mom to two teenagers, I also suffer with depression and Fibromyalgia. So, you never quite know what you’re gonna get when you come here. One thing I do try to do is NOT blog when I am depressed because it just seems to come out all whiny and dark. I figure noone wants to read that. So, those days I just stay away from here. You’re welcome!

So, now, I will get to the heart of this entry and chose some posts to share with you. I only have 6 years worth of entries to look through. I probably should make some tea before starting but I’ll just dive in. I just went back and read my first blog entry EVER! It was on August 8, 2005. Geez Louise!! I’ve been doing this a long time. Back then it was all about homeschooling. That seems like a lifetime ago.

Spoons are the most Important Utensil In The Drawer was an entry about my battle with Fibromyalgia and the Fatigue that goes along with it. If you also deal with a Chronic Illness I encourage you to check this entry out. It contains some great information about how to deal with the fatigue and pain as well as how to explain your battle to those you love. You will find a link in the entry to a wonderful website that is a terrific source of resources to help you. It is also where you will find the original Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino.

Am I a Friend Who Is Really A Friend? Are You? is an entry that I wrote while evaluating what true friendship is. Every now and then I will jump on the NaBloPoMo band wagon when a theme jumps out at me. The theme for January was Friends. Never did I ever expect that theme to lead to my evaluating friendships that I have had for long periods of time and finding out that perhaps not all of them were TRUE friendships. Writing those entries opened my eyes and allowed me to see that some of my “friendships” were merely surface relationships and some were very one sided. That was a painful lesson to learn. The entire month of January is full of entries describing that learning process. I have since made some decisions and cut some ties and have found myself to be much happier.

My Depression Story is an explanation of my journey to discovering my battle with depression for what it is. Depression is a battle that I don’t wish on anyone. Nevertheless, many of us have been given this path to walk in our lives. It’s a battle that I continue to fight daily. If you also walk this path, look around and you will find many others on the path with you. You and I are not alone. It is a very common burden to bear. None of us have to bear it alone. If you deal with it like I do I hope that you will become a regular reader here because we can support one another.

2009 was the worst year for our family. My father was diagnosed with cancer in the Spring of that year. I have written a series about his cancer journey and how it affected all of us. Here are the links in order: My Dad, My Hero – My Dad, My Hero Part 2 – My Dad, My Hero Part 3 – My Dad, My Hero Part 4 Finale – My Dad, My Hero – A New Beginning Again

To wrap it up here is a link to another entry about a big part of my life, My Fibro Story. I’ve fought it for 17 years. Some days I feel like I finally have a handle on it and then other days I feel like I did in the beginning – confused and lost. My hope in writing/sharing my Fibromyalgia battle is always to help someone else who might be in the same situation as me. I have written a LOT about Fibromyalgia. My prayer is that you will take the time to do a search and hopefully find something that will help you. There is a search feature for my blog in the left sidebar. If you type in the word Fibromyalgia I think you will have plenty to keep you busy for a good long while.

I noticed in sharing this handful of posts that there is very little about my family. I don’t want to overwhelm you though. I will share another post another day that will guide you to each of my family members. They are all magnificent blessings in my life. There just isn’t enough time to lead you to entries describing each one along with these others.

All of us have been created with many facets to our lives. None of us fit a perfect mold of what a human being is. If you were to sit down and look through your posts I think you would find the same is true for you. We are all like puzzles. Each piece is a different shape but when all put together in just the right way we create a beautiful picture. I think the Puzzle of Pam is still a work in progress. And I’ve learned that my edges are not all smooth and straight. I’m a little rough around the edges. That’s what makes us all unique. Who are you? What is your puzzle going to look like when you are finished with it? Take a glimpse at your blogging history and see how far you’ve come in putting the puzzle together.

(Don’t forget to come by each day and enter to win my different door prizes for the Ultimate Blog Party. The entry right before this one is a door prize giveaway for a beautiful Premier Designs bracelet. Don’t miss out on it!)

 

Put The Camels Away

Posted on by

1

Yesterday was a dud of a day inside of my skin. I wanted to come here and write but my brain was so foggy with Fibro Fog that I could barely put together 140 characters to tweet. But somehow I did manage to do that about 100x.  You’re welcome! And I had a number of thoughts running through my head to blog about. I should have written them down because who knows what they were now. So today is a new list of things to write about. Maybe the others will come back and maybe they won’t. Interestingly enough the things that are popping into my head today seem to be controversial things. I don’t like conflict, if you remember from a previous entry. So I often shy away from controversial topics. However, I am also led by the power of the Holy Spirit in my life and when something gets on my mind to share I feel like it is the Lord telling me share it. So, if I offend anyone….well, you know….

Smoking has been on my mind a lot lately. Honestly I think it’s because of two things from the last few weeks. First of all, I have watched The View a few times again. Why do I do that? It’s pure torture! One day Whoopi was on her rant about not being able to smoke in certain places in NYC. Whatever! It doesn’t only affect YOUR lungs when you smoke around us! Secondly, last Friday was Women’s Heart Disease Awareness Day. I heard one snippet that stuck in my head from a specialist on The Talk (much more reasonable program to watch). She said a lot of stuff and I wasn’t really paying that much attention.  But I did hear her say one way to prevent women’s heart disease.  She said “stay away from cigarette smoke”. Notice she didn’t say “don’t smoke” but “STAY AWAY FROM cigarette smoke”.  What does that tell me? Stay away from not only smoking but also from THOSE WHO SMOKE AND FORCE US TO BREATHE IN THEIR SECOND HAND SMOKE.

I suppose the reason this topic is so important to me is because I have lost a GREAT NUMBER of very important people in my life to diseases caused by cigarettes – both by smoking them and by breathing in their second hand smoke day in and day out. As long as I live I will never be able to look at a package of Camel cigarettes and not think and something say out loud (I know you are shocked by that) “Those things will kill you”. The first death of a person close to me because of cigarettes was my Papaw – Melvin Hughes in 1986. I was a sophomore in college. He was by far one of the most important people in my life. When he died a part of me died with him. Someday I will share the story of his death with you. But after losing a part of his lung to cancer after years of smoking Camels his life was stolen from those of us who loved him. We wanted to keep him around much much longer. We could have kept him around much longer if only he had not selfishly insisted on continuing to smoke for so many years.

I could go on and on with the list of family members who died with lung cancer or heart disease after years of living with those who smoked. It’s not an easy thing for those of us who love them to watch them kill themselves a little more every day and who damage their family a little more every day because of their addiction. Smoking causes cancer – cancer is a killer – Smoking and it’s related diseases that go with it steal those we love from us one after another. We love you! We want you around as long as possible. Please take care of yourself and do what you have to do to live! Put the Camels away and live for us!

10 Lessons I Learned In 2010

Posted on by

1

I was thinking on the trip to Florida today what exactly I have learned in 2010. No doubt this has been the most challenging year of my life. So, I put together a list of 10 things I learned in 2010. Perhaps you have learned a few things yourself and would like to share them on your blog. If you decide to do so please leave me a link as a comment. I would love to check them out. We may have even learned some of the same lessons. If that is the case then will probably be wanting to know why you didn’t clue me in to save me the lesson as well.

Ok, so here we go: 10 Things I Learned in 2010

1. Cancer is a loser
2. Miracles do still happen
3. You’re never too old to make new friends!
4. My fear about Michael getting his license was totally unneccessary because having a third driver is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
5. When having to share your vehicle with a teenage boy you can expect to be driving around a garbage dumpster when you are allowed to have your car for a day.
6. Having two cats is not as fun as it sounds.
7. I can handle more physically, emotionally and mentally than I ever thought possible.
8. Raising teenagers can be the biggest joy and the biggest pain in the backside!
9. Sometimes those you thought were your friends really aren’t.
10. You’re never too old to feel like a kid!

While those are some really good lessons to learn I am not really anxious to have them challenged anytime soon.

Now let me end this by saying 2010 was the pits! There is nowhere to go but UP in 2011. So, hurry up 2011!!